Our Manager Saturday

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13 Jan 2020 20:08 #1 by Onlyfoolsandhorses
Our Manager Saturday was created by Onlyfoolsandhorses
Mr Beech The new manager of our struggling football team is strict and won't stand any nonsense. Last Saturday, he caught two fans climbing over the stadium wall and was angry with them.
He grabbed them and said: "Get back in there and watch the game until it finishes!"

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13 Jan 2020 20:12 #2 by Onlyfoolsandhorses
Replied by Onlyfoolsandhorses on topic Our Manager Saturday
Three hours of football and the goalkeeper is still Carlisle top scorer

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13 Jan 2020 20:13 #3 by Onlyfoolsandhorses
Replied by Onlyfoolsandhorses on topic Our Manager Saturday
As the team's struggles continued, a pound coin was thrown onto the pitch Saturday v Plymouth , Police are trying to determine whether it was a missile or a takeover bid
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13 Jan 2020 20:15 #4 by munchymagic
Replied by munchymagic on topic Our Manager Saturday
Do you like energy drinks OFAH or have Dexys made another comeback?

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13 Jan 2020 20:19 #5 by Onlyfoolsandhorses
Replied by Onlyfoolsandhorses on topic Our Manager Saturday
Three fans were talking about the sad state of Carlisle United

The first fan blamed...: "I blame the manager; if we could sign better players, we'd be a great club."

The second fan blamed...: "I blame the players; if they made more effort, I'm sure we would score more goals."

The third fan blamed...: "I blame my parents; if I had been born in a different town, I'd be supporting a [censored] decent team."
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13 Jan 2020 20:20 #6 by Onlyfoolsandhorses
Replied by Onlyfoolsandhorses on topic Our Manager Saturday
Love energy drinks....like vardy before a game

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13 Jan 2020 20:36 #7 by Markovitch
Replied by Markovitch on topic Our Manager Saturday
Please get some new jokes. Some of these are so old they are on cave walls in France

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13 Jan 2020 20:46 #8 by Onlyfoolsandhorses
Replied by Onlyfoolsandhorses on topic Our Manager Saturday
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts

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13 Jan 2020 20:50 #9 by Waltero
Replied by Waltero on topic Our Manager Saturday
Don't encourage him Marko

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13 Jan 2020 20:53 #10 by Onlyfoolsandhorses
Replied by Onlyfoolsandhorses on topic Our Manager Saturday
How is a girlfriend like a laxative?


They both irritate the shit out of you

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13 Jan 2020 20:57 #11 by Onlyfoolsandhorses
Replied by Onlyfoolsandhorses on topic Our Manager Saturday
Markovitch. ....

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie."

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13 Jan 2020 20:58 #12 by Onlyfoolsandhorses
Replied by Onlyfoolsandhorses on topic Our Manager Saturday
Waltero

News Flash ...... Carlisle in relegation fight

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13 Jan 2020 21:01 #13 by Waltero
Replied by Waltero on topic Our Manager Saturday
Ha ha you're cheering me up

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13 Jan 2020 21:02 #14 by West Cumbria United fan
Replied by West Cumbria United fan on topic Our Manager Saturday
A magic tractor went down the road and turned into a field

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13 Jan 2020 21:03 #15 by Onlyfoolsandhorses
Replied by Onlyfoolsandhorses on topic Our Manager Saturday
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’

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13 Jan 2020 21:13 #16 by Yorkie Blue
Replied by Yorkie Blue on topic Our Manager Saturday
A Carlisle supporter out for a walk with his dog, pops into a pub as the football results are coming on the tv, the announcer says Carlisle have just lost 3 - 0, the dog immediately rolls onto its back, sticks its paws in the air and plays dead, the barman says "that's amazing, what does he do when Carlisle win", the lad thinks for a minute then says "dunno, I`ve only had the dog for six months".


Fish and chips and mushy peas are all my brain and body needs
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