Years ago, a train guard sat in a little carriage on the end of the train. The only real important job was to ensure he had enough coal to keep his little stove hot, and enough Playboy's to keep him entertained.
When he remembered, he had to wave a green flag, or a red one (for what he was not quite sure) and at night a light (if he'd remembered to bring the paraffin)
One day, his little carriage never left the sidings, he had been replaced by the Train Conductor / Guard. he was now Safety Critical :-)
So, let's check out his/her required skills:
1) Must be able to communicate with people nicely
2) Must be able to speak so people understand (Oosta garn on Marra) will not do.
3) Must be able to deal with upset passengers without nutting them.
4) Must be able to count.
For this, he/her can expect to paid the sum of just under £15.00 hour.
Today his/her Union has called a strike so everyone can be disrupted in some way, as they have nothing better to do, and it's at least a fortnight since the last one.
With so many other worthy cases of worker exploitation going on, what the hell has happened to the Unions !!