Only on condition that
1) You promise to spend no money of your own but have us in the Premier League in 5 years
2) Swear that David Cameron pays all of his tax
3) Tell us about the aliens you saw
4) Run down a cow
5) Tell us how you would take Kilmarnock from 8th to 7th in the Scottish Premier League
and
6) Give us your wife's recipe for lemon meringue pie