TOPIC: Room 101 - What Would You Put In?

Only rules are that it cannot be CUFC related, a poster on here and you must provide reasoning.

I shall be the judge and jury.

Crack on..

I think they get 2 picks so here goes.

1). Lightbulbs.

When I first got married you could get 40,60 or 100 watt, bayonet or screw fixing. Then they brought in smaller bulbs of differing shapes for wall lights that were ok, but now

go into B&Q; and there is a whole department specialising in bulbs. We must have at least 40 to 50 assorted bulbs in our house, in fact we live now in permanent semi

darkness because it is such an expensive arse ache to find the right ones, I'm all for choice but there are limits.

2) The people's choice, Cyclists.

There are 2 type of cyclists.

The lycra clad fitness freaks who think they own the road, yet have never had to take a lesson or pay road tax. Our council could have saved hundreds of thousands of pounds in creating cycle paths because the feckers won't use them. Every morning going to work we hit a line of traffic on Castle Way, stuck behind the lone cyclist who won't go on the cycle route, they should be made to use them by law in my opinion.

The you have got the little [censored] with a death wish who invariably wear dark clothes and hoodies, have no lights and wander accross the road at will and then they will look at the oncoming driver with an attitude that says " Go on, I dare you to knock me down".

One of these days!

No 2:1 also applies to the bypass. Especially after you see letters in the rag about 'better provision for cyclists'

I would put into room101 that bloody Royal navy advert where the gadge says he was born in Carlisle etc, etc Born in Sunderland or somewhere more like! Makes me snarl every time I hear it.

I am going to allow cyclists into Room 101. You make a reasonably articulate case but not only that, it might also annoy Markredfox.

Primark. I'm all for people being able to get clothing cheaply but not at the expense of the shops that will close down - especially the Charity Shops - when Primark opens up.

Named storms.

No explanation needed.

The Great British Public when boarding a plane or getting on a train. Absolutely unreal! Normal everyday folk completely lose the plot for 5mins over somewhere to sit!

On a train - If you have a reservation, go and sit in it! If you haven't, find an empty seat. It's not f*cking rocket science you utter f*cking Cockwombles!!!

On a plane - Best thing the budget airlines did was give you a seat when you check-in! Used to see some right kerfuffles because Madge couldn't sit beside Percy! Oh, and if you pay for 'Speedy Boarding' you want put in the hold...

Piers Morgan

conniving snivelling self obsessed weasel who has managed to manufacture himself a position on prime time television both here and America despite always talking utter utter shite, his only talent being he has managed to do this whilst simultaneously having his head shoved up Kevin Pietersons backside

Goodbye and good riddance to people who can't go 20 yards on a street without staring blankly into their bloody smartphone screen and making you take evasive action in the process.

Nixon

lbtufty wrote:
Just beautiful when they do it on a zebra crossing at rush hour.

The tiny cases on wheels especially at St Pancreas on my daily commute. I get irritable urge to kick them over!

Pushy charities. You know,the folk that knock on your door,engage in conversation,then ask you to sign up to a monthly Direct Debit. Or the chuggers in Scotch Street. Or the ever increasing guilt tripping TV adverts. It's big business these days.

Cold callers. Either automated or a real person. I was once told by one that l was rude. Not as rude as ringing me in my own home at night.

I sensibly cycle so dont come under doylems that dont give a shit about the road rules:)

Sent from my GT-I8200N using Tapatalk

oh go on then............

1) Driver who don't seem to understand that fog lights are, errr, for fog. Could be 11 in the morning, a clear blue sky and in July and yet they still insist on having their fog lights on.

2) On the topic of drivers, [censored] who think the optimal position for driving is sitting in the middle lane with their cruise control on at 70mph

3) Still drivers. Wagons through road works. Suddenly they are (potentially) faster than other vehicles but can't use the middle lane so get right up your arse in an attempt to make you break the speed limit. Just because they're from Lithuania and won't get the points doesn't mean I want them.

4) Websites where you have to select your country in a drop down box. U for the United States is right at the top but then you've got to scroll all the way down for the United Kingdom. When you get there, there's no United Kingdom so have to scroll all the way back up to G for Great Britain but no, not there either. Keep scrolling and you eventually find Britain. Guaranteed though, if you go straight to B then it'll be UK.

5) Cats. Semi Feral beats that never shit in their own garden but happy to pull up my flowers and shit all over the show.

6) Cyclists who are happy to cycle up the road until a set of traffic lights and decide it's acceptable to mount the kerb, cross as a pedestrian would and then continue on the other side.

7) Likewise, cyclists who don't think red lights apply to them

or one way streets

9) Horses - see cyclists with the added bonus of shitting everywhere

10) Dog walkers who don't seem to think they have to pick up their dog shit.

That'll do for tonight. I can probably get 10 fresh ones tomorrow.

Youngsters driving tractors.
The law allows a 16 year old to drive a tractor, however when the law was brought in, a tractor was a Massey Fergie 135, max speed 18mph.
These days tractors have doubled in size and speed, the young farmer has also evolved to become more of a chav and less of a shit kicker.

The result, living in Penrith, is having to put up with these tossers flying through our town, often with a full load. Always at max speed, bouncing off the kerbs, with more interest on the pavement to see who is watching.

GingerBalls wrote:
Gingerballs you've made me feel all nostalgic as I remember when I drove old Fordsons as a teenager at their maximum speed of about 12mph. No safety cab either so it felt a lot faster.

1. Belgians - their inability to drive is mind boggling especially when it comes to dealing with pedestrians attempting to use a zebra crossing. That and their absurd rules that apply to cars joining main roads from the right having right of way, this leads to amazing scenes at a roundabout as you can imagine.

2. Pedestrians who find it impossible to look where they are going rather than spend their entire journey staring at their phones.

3. Supermarket shoppers who leave their trolley blocking the entire aisle and refuse to move it despite me politely enquiring them to do so.

4. People who don't acknowledge/thank you when you hold a door open for them.

GingerBalls wrote:
...and towing a muck spreader twice the size of the huge tractor giving it the braking distance of the QE2...

Armo wrote:
Why does that bother people? What harm does it do? I don't do it, but I just don't see why anybody would get riled by it.

Folk who don't like cats.

sirjimmyglass wrote:
1. People who question why people want to put something in room 101

2. People who write genuine reason for sale when selling something. Of course theres a genuine reason or you wouldnt be f**king selling it you complete prat Grrrrrrrr

sirjimmyglass wrote:
They can dazzle, in the day - just irritating.

griff wrote:
Cats are feral beasts that should be treated no better than foxes or badgers. Absolutely can't stand them.

I want to add another one.

11) OAPs, with all the time in the world, deciding the best time to go shopping is a Sat morning or Sun afternoon. They stand there, clogging the isles and dither over whether to get the 4 pack of Tesco's baked beans or the 4 pack of Heinz with their voucher and whether the 2p saving is worth them tasting like shit whilst i'm trying to whizz round in what little spare time i've got.

and on the subject

12) Any 24 hour supermarket after 11pm. What's the point? All the isles are so full of cages you can neither get your trolley down and if you do manage to negotiate all the cages you can't see what's on the bloody shelves anyway because of the cages.

There's a definite art to optimally timing a shopping run.

griff wrote:
I bet you wouldn't like me if I came round yours and shat on your lawn twice a week.....

NorthantsCumbrian wrote:
In your daily commute,have you not noticed that it's St. Pancras,ever?

But yes,wheeled suitcases are torture,usually women that don't realise that it makes them wider than just themselves.

sirjimmyglass wrote:
They dazzle and distract. There's roughly 30k accidents per year caused by them.
It's illegal. It is an offence to use front/rear fog lights when visibility is over 100 metres, punishable by fine.

Zebby wrote:
Zebby, I thought cats would get on your tits............and the other birds in your garden.

Zebby wrote:
No, but I'd get some great footage.

People who say " It's not about the money, it's the principle " because it's never about the principle.

Women at cashpoints. Most notably those women who have to look through about 5 bags before they find their purse, then put about 17 cards into the machine before going back to the first one and withdrawing a tenner.

People (generally even older than Griff) who walk into a shop, then stop right away just inside the door so nobody else has any chance of getting in. Some of them also do it when leaving the shop.

Women who claim a place at the 10 items or less isle in a supermarket with one item, and then fuck off and get 9 other items and spend 20 minutes doing it.

I get a fucking hour for my dinner, I want to get in, buy my pie and get out, there is absolutely no need for any of the fannying about I have mentioned above and I should be allowed to execute anybody who does any of it.

thesilentone wrote:
Ha, talking about that i never did get any money back from Barnet, despite them saying they would. It was the principle though

People who are confidently wrong. Particularly in pub quizzes.

FOBT - Roulette machines. Thankfully i got help and stopped but why these things are so addictive and why i couldn't just stop i haven't a clue. Heard horrendous stories coming from these.

Psychics - No one is psychic or can speak to the dead, they are just fraudsters that prey on vulnerable people.

Train announcements - Can't have a little kip on the train as these go off every 5 minutes about the shop, destination or someones stuck in the toilet.

Train toilets - For some reason people don't know how to lock the door - the amount of times i have pressed the button to be greeted in blind date style to some fat arse getting wiped is unbelievable.

wafer biscuits

just what is the point you cannot dunk them and they turn to dust as soon you bite into them

utterly pointless

Moorlad wrote:
Git. Get with your tax fiddling.

griff wrote:
people who DO like cats

Mullen103 wrote:
It also helps to buy a ticket before boarding at Edinburgh.

It's starting to seem as if I have a bit of a downer on women, but I really don't, it's just that most of the fannying about in the world is done by women.

Anyway, groups of women in a pub, each buying one drink and each paying by card. It needs no explanation that sort of behaviour is disgraceful.

1. People who dont pick up their dog's shite. If you cant be bothered to do that you shouldnt be allowed to own a dog. Some dirty geordie [censored] has left his mutts shite right outside my house today.

2. Incorrect use of the word cheeky. If your nandos is cheeky complain.

3. Drivers who think indicators are optional or for use after changing lanes. Mirror signal manoveur fuckwits.

4. Bar staff who apologise for not having the branded glass to match the lager who have ordered. Apologise for the wait or the price instead. "Asyou like it" in newcastle take note.

5. I have no issues with anyones sexual orientatation except people who like smurfs. This is wrong and they should lose their job for it

6. Clothes bags for charity that come through your letterbox. One to two a week. How much clothing do you think me and the missus have.

7. Quoting tweets in sports articles of none sports man i.e piers morgan. Why is his opinion any more important than any other [censored] who was at the game.

Maryport ,just been dentist thru their,all sorts of strange characters.

Just been on public service bus too Maryport, people pressing bus stop button about a minute before the stop.

Dentists robbing [censored] forty pound for a check up.

Sellafield traffic utter ball ache.

High Street wrote:
Are you a train manager

I used to pay every time i went places beforehand but due to the lack of ticket checks, the amount of people getting free rides and it being no different on the train with a railcard i just purchase on the train. Always happy to pay when the inspector comes!

Women sports presenters

The amount of positive discrimination in this area is now beyond a joke

you can hardly turn the telly on nowdays without a woman on the news and sports programmes reading the results and presenting the sport

its like blokes cant have anything of there own anymore its political correctness gone mad

that bint on bbc breakfast time perched on the couch preening away all morning dressed as if shes going out for cocktails every morning is one that particually gets on my wick

I would make it barriers everywhere for tickets personally, another total balls up related to the UK train system.

Probably have that actually for this question - folk who are smug and love announcing they got somewhere for nowt by train, pathetic.

Wazza wrote:
So would i Wazza

It first came about when i had a job in Penrith. Used to get a monthly pass for £150+ to Penrith! and it never got checked hardly and other people used to piss me off getting free journeys. Full ticket barriers at every station is needed.

Zebby wrote:
I don't watch breakfast telly, but I know what you mean, when a woman is doing a commentary, the ear piercing shrieking does my head in.

Lizzie Greenwood-Hughes is ace though.

Mullen103 wrote:
I did it in Munich for about six months before I learnt my lesson in all honesty! All done on trust there on the u bahn, trams and buses but they have undercover teams - got caught twice and had a few close shaves before deciding to buy a pass every month (60 euros). Fine were 40 euros which is now 60 but on the third time you get a court appearance. You really do feel like a criminal when you get rumbled like! Seen them have young kids in tears and stuff, the enjoyment of not having to look constantly around the u bahn was worth the 40 quid a month mind. Queer shock when some sod just pulls out their ID card and asks for your ticket and there are four others with them! My story about being a tourist going to the Bmw Musuem didn't fool anyone!

The Six Fu*king Nations!

The Rugby World Cup has the saving grace that's it's only every four years. The Six Nations comes round every single year. It clogs up the nations sport coverage and brings annoying rugger fans out the woodwork who are determined to tell us that its a 'proper' sport.

Bruntonpasty wrote:
T V Company's who think the Geordie accent is better than the Cumbrian one so dub the advert.
Filmed in the Jovial Sailor by the way.

Turnbull wrote:
Folk who don't like rugby.