TOPIC: The Sensational Shire Horse Showcase begins TONITE at 1945BST

See above

To the lowlife anonymous faxer who denied the authenticity of this showcase, this IS the showcase endorsed by Geoff Capes. Signed proof below

I beg to differ, Geoff has only ever endorsed budgerigar keeping and super strong terram sheeting.

Obviously the autograph hasn't been authenticated.

Melbo, you are a man of great integrity and your opinion cannot be ignored.

SHOWCASE SUSPENDED until this issue has been fully investigated

Lads, you're not gonna believe this. So I've been on to the council and it turns out that the regional Geoff Capes autograph authentication officer is The Northern Soul!

Sadly were not on speaking terms right now due to the rabbit hutch incident.

Can someone on here please ask as the go between and request that he authenticates the autograph?

If not, I just can't see how the showcase can go ahead

Ibogaine wrote:
Ive tried but hes a bit tied up right now. Think its for the best if you bed the horses down for the night.

Dancingbear wrote:
Not the Orange in mouth and bag over the head night again, will he ever let it go?

Being a personal friend of Geoff, I have shown him this thread.

He states, and I quote : "Not only is that not my signature, that's not even me in the picture. I'm Geoff Capes, I don't even own a women's blouse like that. I also one had a bad experience with a shire horse, so there's no way I would ever endorse such a show. This guy is clearly a fraud. I was on superstars you know."

Useless, I appreciate your input, and I know that you and Geoff go way back, but I can't make a final decision on the showcase until the northern soul has cast his highly trained eye over the authentification autograph. I value his judgement even over Geoff's himself, who, as you know better than most, has started to lose his mind following years of trill dust inhalation.

I left a note on the northern soul's bedpost last night, pleading with him to review the autograph, not for me but for the shire horses and their legion on fans. But alas I don't even think he came home last night...

Ibo, you of all people should know what he's like! He'll have got himself tied up somewhere...................., It happens.

Bought a Les Telford executive package for this event. Fuming

No one is more upset about these delays than I am and I'm working round the clock to try and resolve the issue.

I would be distraught if the event had to be called off, because if there's one thing Carlisle United is not about its broken promises

Ibo
Bit of a development for you.
I went car booting with Geoff this morning (that one on the A6) and he'd had a missed call at 02.45 from the Accrington area, so clearly wheels are in motion.
I'll keep you in the loop, he's is however in intensive strong man training mode at a boot camp near milnthorpe at the moment so has to keep focussed.

Ive about had enough of this. First there was the MRF flag debacle and now this. Two of the biggest complainers on the board yet when put on the spot what have they done? Absolutely sod all that what. If this isnt sorted in the next hour im gonna watch Britains got talent instead.

Use-o - thank you for your ongoing support. I will keep my phone on all night so please call with any updates

Dance-o - can't apologise enough. MRF is a loose cannon so can maybe forgive him, but I just can't fathom Soulys silence. It takes 3 years to train to be an Geoff Capes Autograph Authenticator. You would've thought he'd jump at the chance to finally use his skills

Has this shambles not been sorted yet? I'm going to be in contact with the ombudsman in the morning.

This could sound drastic gents but, I think we need to start thinking seriously about starting a movement to oust this clearly lacking GCAAO from power.

My finger nails are bloody non existent!!

"Loose cannon."..how fitting..got it spot on

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Lads, lads, calm down, some good news at last.

One of my field agents has tracked down the Soul to a B&B; in Chapel St Leonards. Over breakfast he was handed in writing a notice reminding him of his responsibilities as GCAAO and requesting him to verify the autograph by 6PM on 25 May 2016. I am confident he will respond by this deadline.

The Bishop of Carlisle has also offered his services as mediator but hopefully he will not be required.

My flag should say "redfox rising " including pic of the 3 horsemen looking clueless. Then underneath "Get out of my club you c@@ts" underneath... be nice int waterworks that like

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Really appreciate your efforts on this Ibo, and your team. Tremendous dedication.

On behalf of all boarders, thanks.

Bad news lbo,
The big man's been on the phone in tears to tonight, having torn a thigh muscle doing some strenuous tyre flipping at his milnthorpe base camp earlier today.

He's completely out the game for up to a month, including all promotional work and has been instructed to take COMPLETE BED REST until further notice. It never rains but it pours, eh?

Dreadful.

The only thing that could make this day worse is Kav's Audi pulling into the carpark at BP.

Thoughts are with the big guy.

Capes hasn't flipped a tyre in anger since his last humiliation at the hands of Jón Páll Sigmarsson in '86. A pathetic excuse.

Something has spooked the big man...

Curious times indeed.

Is Capes injured or merely feigning in order to involve a potential grilling from the Soul??

Will the Soul come through and finally ascertain the authenticity? Or will he remain silent like the noble beast he is??

Might be time to resort to plan B and find another endorsing celebrity. It's going to be tough to find one who is both well respected and also embodies the cultural characteristics of the shire horse (strength, tenacity, nice mane)

If only the Soul had authenticated the 'graph before Capes fell foul of the tyre! We wouldn't be in this pickle

Budgie show season approaching fast he will be pulling spots and straightening tails on his world famous recessive pieds

I reckon hes binned ya

Could MRF not oblige us by taking a crash course in Capes autograph authentication? I know it's not ideal but it would go some way to making up for the flag fiasco?

No way am I letting MRF anywhere near my beloved showcase! He's botched every job I´ve ever given him!

With Capes looking indisposed the plan now is to drop him and find another celebrity of sufficient calibre to replace him.

So far only Kenny Toal offered to step in but hopefully we can find someone better that bozo

The search continues...

I've been at the big mans bedside tonight, he's a broken man I can tell you.
You know as well as I do lbo how much he hates to let folk down.

For the sake of the showcase, I can confirm he's prepared to disregard the docs orders and make this thing happen

Let's ditch the soul's involvement in this and let the big man see his people.

You name the time, you name the place and I'll get him there.

I have some terrible news to bring you Ibo. My contacts at Whitehaven Coastguard inform me that on their regular patrols to stop Mark The Red Fox's illegal smuggling of foreign import Kung Fu movie DVDs this evening at dusk, they spotted Geoff being picked up by a rowing boat on the beach at Harrington and taken to a fishing trawler, destined for international waters and to the Isle of Man, which you of course will know is not part of the International Agreement on the Authentication of Former Strongmen Competitiors Autographs.

Rumour has it that the shadowy group that were assisting Geoff were in fact members of the Rhenish-German Cold Blood Appreciation Society, furious at the fact that you chose the Shire horse as the Draught Horse breed to highlight at the showcase.

Use-o - I appreciate your efforts assa. But I'm afraid its a definite no on Capes now. Even if there were no other concerns I cannot allow the Showcase to go ahead if the endorser does not have the requisite paperwork. The fact that he is injured and I am receiving multiple reports that suggest he is not of sound mind just adds further risk. The last thing we need is the showcase to go ahead with a madman at the helm.

MerseysideBlue-o - Top intel. Sad news if true. I never thought Capes would go over to the 'WCW' of the draught horse world but he appears to be less and less compus mentus with each passing day

Well???

What an absolute debacle.

The big man has defied all medical expectations, having been in an oxygen chamber to speed up recovery so as to attend the event and honour his commitment, yet has been completely snubbed.

He had even been in touch with his old superstars adversaries Brian Budd and Dave 'boy' Green to coma along too.

What a shabby way to treat the man mountain.

You've let Geoff down,
You've let this board down,
But most of all you've let yourself down.

Lbo, your reputation is on the line here , what is gan on?

I'm now seriously worried about the bo,

I fear dark forces / MI5 are at play here and need to know that the wee man is ok.

Useless wrote:
I do hope he hasn't done a bunk with all the ticket money.

You were fools to doubt the GREAT IBO 'MOMBASA' IBOGAINE

Soz about the delay, but I have like Tony Blair's government and the Working Tax Credits scheme, I have eventually delivered.

The delay reason was twofold. Firstly, The Soul allied with the thrawted Toal and imprisoned me in a compound. I was able to escape by harnessing the power of 90's reggae, calling in favours from Apache Indian, Aswad and Rankin Roger who united to bust me out the joint.

Sadly ASWAD then later imprisoned me, demanding that I retile Chaka Demus's swimming pool as payment. The grout was inferior and greatly lengthened the project time, but I persevered as was eventually rewarded with me freedom. In fact I did such a good job that Chaka Demus himself agreed to endorse the showcase.

AND SO, WITHOUT MUCH FURTHER ADO; BEHOLD THE SHOWCASE!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's it? All that wait and that's all we get?!

Disgraceful. I'm on the phone to Dom Littlewood as we speak.

MerseysideBlue wrote:
What more do you want?? Its the Greatest Show on Earth!

It was everything I'd hoped for and more. Capes will be seething.

Where can I buy a copy of the instrumental background music. Very comforting I thought.

the GREAT IBO 'MOMBASA' IBOGAINE