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FAO Mark the Red Fox: An invitation from Grand Poobah Northern Soul to touch bums ceremonially

TOPIC: FAO Mark the Red Fox: An invitation from Grand Poobah Northern Soul to touch bums ceremonially

FAO Mark the Red Fox: An invitation from Grand Poobah Northern Soul to touch bums ceremonially 29 Jun 2025 20:03 #1

  • Ibogaine
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Dear Fox,

Your domain over the lands of Flimby is beyond dispute.

However we have noted that you have turned a beady eye towards the lands now ruled by SOUL.

We hope this is not the case. We therefore invite you to ceremonially touch bums in Wigton tomorrow at noon. The ceremonial bum touch is the only means of legally declaring peace in soul folklore.

Please confirm your attendance.

But be warned. Refusal makes war a near certainty.

Yours,

Ibo, emissary of the government of the holy soul
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FAO Mark the Red Fox: An invitation from Grand Poobah Northern Soul to touch bums ceremonially 30 Jun 2025 00:59 #2

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Tread carefully Fox - this may be a ruse, as we all know the quickest way from Flimby to Wigton involves travelling along the A596, through SOULIOPOLIS.

I would advise taking the B5300 to Silloth, stopping off at Allonby for a Twentymans - you might even want to consider picking one up as a peace offering for the SOUL though choose wisely, as I understand he HATES Tutti Fruiti flavour. Upon reaching Sloth, take the B5302 via Abbeytown to Wigton, whereupon your buttocks shall meet.
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FAO Mark the Red Fox: An invitation from Grand Poobah Northern Soul to touch bums ceremonially 30 Jun 2025 09:13 #3

  • seesaw50
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Judging by the non response from Fox I imagine he is still weighing up his options OR has got embroiled in a skirmish reported in the Gilcrux Btexitier ,which occurred late on Wednesday north of Seascale. The uprising involved certain renegades moving south from North side in search of jam. This pack of ruffians held their line for several hours. It is not known at this time if there was loss of life or indeed if they impounded supplies before retreating. In any event there has been no comment from the Fox camp....... Yet
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FAO Mark the Red Fox: An invitation from Grand Poobah Northern Soul to touch bums ceremonially 30 Jun 2025 09:49 #4

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Les Telford was funnier.....
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FAO Mark the Red Fox: An invitation from Grand Poobah Northern Soul to touch bums ceremonially 30 Jun 2025 09:55 #5

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News Flash....hot off the press.....Fox stands for PM....!!!
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FAO Mark the Red Fox: An invitation from Grand Poobah Northern Soul to touch bums ceremonially 30 Jun 2025 10:21 #6

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Turnbull wrote:
Les Telford was funnier.....
Bah humbug!......BTW he is still rolling saw one of his vehicles on the 595 t'other day
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Re:FAO Mark the Red Fox: An invitation from Grand Poobah Northern Soul to touch bums ceremonially 30 Jun 2025 12:12 #7

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Look i am way to busy at the minute...my billionaire haulage business is more important....This is one of my wagons on its way to Brunton Park ...its full of manure to ditch outside the entrance.

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Re:FAO Mark the Red Fox: An invitation from Grand Poobah Northern Soul to touch bums ceremonially 30 Jun 2025 12:29 #8

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markredfox73 wrote:
Look i am way to busy at the minute...my billionaire haulage business is more important....This is one of my wagons on its way to Brunton Park ...its full of manure to ditch outside the entrance.

Sent from my GT-I8200N using Tapatalk

If there's one thing they're well stocked up on, its manure.
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FAO Mark the Red Fox: An invitation from Grand Poobah Northern Soul to touch bums ceremonially 30 Jun 2025 14:48 #9

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What news from Wigton? I do hope MRF went through with the traditional bum touch ceremony and swore an oath of fealty to his liege Lord the SOUL. This could ensure peace in North Allerdale for generations. A failure to carry out a full and meaningful touching of the buttocks is unthinkable.
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FAO Mark the Red Fox: An invitation from Grand Poobah Northern Soul to touch bums ceremonially 30 Jun 2025 15:57 #10

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deer_dance wrote:
What news from Wigton? I do hope MRF went through with the traditional bum touch ceremony and swore an oath of fealty to his liege Lord the SOUL. This could ensure peace in North Allerdale for generations. A failure to carry out a full and meaningful touching of the buttocks is unthinkable.

Not sure Fox will take kindly the assertion that SOUL is his liege Lord ....they are arch rivals since Soul was installed in the hostile takeover of Spatri ..do keep up deer
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FAO Mark the Red Fox: An invitation from Grand Poobah Northern Soul to touch bums ceremonially 30 Jun 2025 20:31 #11

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I can confirm that the bums remain untouched.

The SOUL has set up court in the Spar and awaits the arrival of the FOX. At the moment SOUL is busying himself settling disputes, curing Kings Evil and gorging on pineapple chunks.

The FOX appears to be unsure of what move to make next. Rumour has it that he has therefore travelled to Moota to consult the garden centre oracle

The folk of SOULIOPOLIS remain on tenterhooks
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FAO Mark the Red Fox: An invitation from Grand Poobah Northern Soul to touch bums ceremonially 30 Jun 2025 20:45 #12

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Looks like he was nowhere near Seascale yesterday and had his wagons rolling..... Maybe he's got no intention of taking part in the bum touching after all he is a rough tough Marra , and Is attacking the SOULs Spar HQ from the east in a Flimbyesque reverse pincer movement. Is that wagon MOTd Fox

Just heard after tapping into his CB , that he did go scenic to avoid Wigton and joined the A66 at Keswick...after a sarnie at Penrith and dropping his load off at BP...the plan was to surprise the SOUL by 3 o'clocks at the Spar... Alas he brok down at Newby West as is still there awaiting Green Flag.
Last Edit: 30 Jun 2025 20:54 by seesaw50.
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FAO Mark the Red Fox: An invitation from Grand Poobah Northern Soul to touch bums ceremonially 01 Jul 2025 23:03 #13

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No movement yet from the fox camp.

A decree from the whole of the holy soul: you have til Sundown Saturday in order to touch bums. Otherwise prepare for the consequences!
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