Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate

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28 Nov 2019 11:37 #1 by Ibogaine
Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate was created by Ibogaine
Platinum xylophone security guard
  • Three years prior experience
  • Not permissible to touch the xylophone under any circumstances
  • Salary: lowest legally possible

Consortium member
  • Must have a million quid
  • Able to say "yes" on the phone to Jenkins when he calls to ask if you have a million quid
  • Salary: lowest legally possible

Messageboard post ghost writer
  • Experience of blaming Jeremy Corbyn for everything under the sun
  • Easily wound-up
  • Salary: lowest legally possible

Apply now!!!

Messageboarder of the Year 2016
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28 Nov 2019 12:24 #2 by Laffy
Replied by Laffy on topic Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate
I have been inundated with applications
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28 Nov 2019 12:27 #3 by griff
Replied by griff on topic Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate
I’ve been Laffy’s piss-pot-polisher for years now.

HANDS OFF MY JOB.
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28 Nov 2019 12:36 - 28 Nov 2019 12:36 #4 by Kessler
Replied by Kessler on topic Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate

Ibogaine wrote: Platinum xylophone security guard

  • Three years prior experience
  • Not permissible to touch the xylophone under any circumstances
  • Salary: lowest legally possible

Consortium member
  • Must have a million quid
  • Able to say "yes" on the phone to Jenkins when he calls to ask if you have a million quid
  • Salary: lowest legally possible

Messageboard post ghost writer
  • Experience of blaming Jeremy Corbyn for everything under the sun
  • Easily wound-up
  • Salary: lowest legally possible

Apply now!!!


I'd like to apply for the security guard job but I want to negotiate the salary up to £9.60 an hour. Also is the uniform included or do I have to buy my own garmin hat?
Last edit: 28 Nov 2019 12:36 by Kessler.

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28 Nov 2019 14:09 #5 by Dancingbear
Replied by Dancingbear on topic Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate

griff wrote: I’ve been Laffy’s piss-pot-polisher for years now.

HANDS OFF MY JOB.


Hands off Laffys Jobbys

There's only one way of life and that's your own!!!
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28 Nov 2019 14:34 #6 by Laffy
Replied by Laffy on topic Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate
What are you views on shooting foxes Kes?

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28 Nov 2019 14:43 #7 by Kessler
Replied by Kessler on topic Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate

Laffy wrote: What are you views on shooting foxes Kes?


Not my thing.

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28 Nov 2019 15:07 #8 by Vogel
Replied by Vogel on topic Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate
Funny first question for an interview. What’s Kes’s next question or is his application already rejected!

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28 Nov 2019 15:13 #9 by markredfox73
Replied by markredfox73 on topic Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate
Laffy I took part in the Cumbrian Cracker sportive a couple of week ago ... It was a busy and enjoyable one to do around 57 mile....hundreds did it..I think you would have gone into meltdown at all the sad lib dem vote Farron signs up around the south cumbrian peninsula ..obviously sheep regardless of their undemocratic antics.
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28 Nov 2019 16:17 #10 by Lakelandterrier
Replied by Lakelandterrier on topic Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate

Laffy wrote: What are you views on shooting foxes Kes?



Fox hunting should be allowed to help control numbers and farmers livestock.
Lakeland terriers were the only terrier bred to kill a fox underground. Tough dogs.
- Lakelandterrier (Lee).

Cumbrian and Proud

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28 Nov 2019 22:15 - 28 Nov 2019 22:16 #11 by Flatcap
Replied by Flatcap on topic Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate
Problem was, that when they were running out of foxes to hunt, they bred their own.
Farmers did not like that one bit, (unless of course, if they were hunt followers).
Last edit: 28 Nov 2019 22:16 by Flatcap.

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29 Nov 2019 08:07 #12 by Laffy
Replied by Laffy on topic Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate
I’m not a fan of terriers and foxes-I’m ok with the hunt coming onto my land but I have told them to not use terriers.Nothing beats seeing the hunt in the fells though.

I’ve heard of this breeding stuff-not helpful to the hunt PR.

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29 Nov 2019 09:19 #13 by Kessler
Replied by Kessler on topic Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate

Vogel wrote: Funny first question for an interview. What’s Kes’s next question or is his application already rejected!


Haven't heard back about my application so I'm assuming it's been rejected. I was looking forward to the free garmin hat.
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29 Nov 2019 17:56 #14 by Laffy
Replied by Laffy on topic Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate
No room for a wannabe shop steward mate.Have you tried NPower-they are laying people off because of the price cap that Labour wanted?

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01 Dec 2019 19:27 #15 by Flatcap
Replied by Flatcap on topic Situations Vacant at the Lapping Estate
Are you saying that the price of leccy is too cheap?

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