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  1. Ibogaine
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  3. 07-04-2021 11:09
Boss,

Something alarming came to my attention during the morning patrol of the estate:

Paddock Ranger has erected his tinfoil bothy by the pond in the lower field and is now living there.

On the plus side, he’s catching the rats for his supper, which will help the pheasants no end. However, we do not have any planning permission for his erection, so you could fall foul of the local council should they come round to inspect the grounds.

Pls let me know if you want me to dismantle it or just turn a blind eye
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You need planning permission for an erection now ? :o
  1. 07-04-2021 12:23
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Only substantial ones...
  1. 07-04-2021 14:26
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How do you know it's Paddock Ranger's, it's probably the last place Mr-Off-The-Grid would choose to hole up considering the thousands of double-jabbed, coin paying serfs sorry, visitors Lord Lapping will be expecting once the estate house and gardens re-open in May.
  1. 07-04-2021 15:35
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You are allowed to put them sort of things up because you just say that they are temporary and this one sounds eco, not on someone else's land however.

Be quicker to just tip the locals off that Gary Glitter has escaped from prison and is hiding out in his 'Glitterband Gablefront' in Laffy's forest, turn right at the coppice - you can't miss it.
  1. 07-04-2021 17:03
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How do you know it's Paddock Ranger's, it's probably the last place Mr-Off-The-Grid would choose to hole up considering the thousands of double-jabbed, coin paying serfs sorry, visitors Lord Lapping will be expecting once the estate house and gardens re-open in May.


He made me put my iPhone in a lead lined box before approaching the bothy and when I got there the ground was strewn with spirit levels
  1. 07-04-2021 17:53
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It will be quite a while since Ibo saw an erection me thinks
  1. 07-04-2021 20:00
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Come on Sir Lapp, this is serious business, save the puerile stuff for when you’re hanging with your mates from the House of Lords

In fact, things are getting more serious. This morning’s drone inspection reveals he has dug a rather shallow latrine just outside the coppice. Give it a few weeks and whenever there is a north westerly it won’t be the pleasant scent of your prize rhododendrons you’ll be enjoying when you take tea on your pagoda...

The bulldozer is at the ready. Awaiting further orders...
  1. 08-04-2021 08:32
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The only shock mate is you haven’t been taken away in a straight jacket-obviously need to up the medication a bit

Tally Ho
  1. 08-04-2021 12:25
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The only shock mate is you haven’t been taken away in a straight jacket-obviously need to up the medication a bit

Tally Ho


I think he paints a good picture of your life personally :D
  1. 08-04-2021 13:22
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Well for someone from Harraby, that’s a compliment
  1. 08-04-2021 13:49
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Sir Andrew,

Sad tidings I am afraid...

Turns out PR had unplugged the extension lead which was powering the oxygen filter in your Koi cap pond, with tragic consequences:

Koi-found-dead-in-the-early-morning-following-oxygen-depletion-of-the-water-during-the_Q640.jpg

Several dead. Including, as you can see, your beloved Aloysius :( :( :(

He's been using the lead to power the computer he's been using to hack into the mainframe database of Cumberland Masonic Lodge. To what end I do not know...

Seems to my inferior mind that the time has come for action. Place a jar of Beluga caviar in the window of your counting house tomorrow morning if you want me to raze his bothy to the ground. If I see Sicillian Truffle Oil there instead, I will hold fire.

Awaiting your instruction

Ibo
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  1. 09-04-2021 10:42
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  3. # 11
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Where has that 'creepy' message gone from last night?
  1. 09-04-2021 12:42
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Creepy message?I do find it disturbing that Ibo has enough time on his hands to force feed us,like French geese, his appalling ‘off the wall’humour.

Go and harass someone else you pervert
  1. 09-04-2021 13:25
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ccu
Site Admin
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Where has that 'creepy' message gone from last night?


Was removed as it was completely uncalled for.

(It wasn’t Ibo who posted it either!)
  1. 09-04-2021 13:58
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Oh well
  1. 09-04-2021 14:30
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Oh well


Apology accepted
  1. 09-04-2021 15:43
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I’m not apologising for a message I didn’t see Ibo-I have no idea what it was about as it’s been deleted.It wasn’t you clearly but I can’t comment either way.

My gripe with you is with your continuing banal, almost warped,’banter’
  1. 09-04-2021 18:20
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Something about Laffy being in the masons, taking part in satanic rituals and his plan was fake to allow EWM in.
  1. 09-04-2021 19:08
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I am contractually obliged to provide avant-garde comedic content, funded by a joint venture between the mods and the Arts Council

If you don’t like the tinfoil bothy one I could do the Poldark (Lapp-dark) remake I’ve been working on instead? Just can’t work out if it should be Nixon or Jenkins in the role of Warleggan
  1. 09-04-2021 20:21
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Something about Laffy being in the masons, taking part in satanic rituals and his plan was fake to allow EWM in.



And being a pal with Nixon and concocting their schemes a The Brampton lodge, it was sort of a tell-all fiction book exposé.
  1. 09-04-2021 20:59
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I’m not a fan of the masons.I was wondering whether I was being accused of something more sinister than that!

Anyway, apologies if I offended you Ibo
  1. 09-04-2021 21:05
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Nixon and Day are masons, can’t see Laffy in that group.

I don’t think David Allen likes the masons either, in his departing speech.
  1. 09-04-2021 22:06
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I put the masons in the same category as Orangemen-let’s leave it at that
  1. 09-04-2021 22:47
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So me staying up all night embroidering a new pinny for you was a waste of time then?
  1. 10-04-2021 07:29
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Correct-
  1. 10-04-2021 07:41
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